Obim, I hate how this makes me feel. I hate the fact that I have to put up a fake smile everytime I see you, when in reality, I am secretly dying on the inside. And whenever you smile back, Obim, I swear I can feel my entire universe colliding around me. I hate the fact that we can never be and for once I really wish, no, I pray that you could just look into my eyes and see the truth that lies helpless in my soul. For once, Obim, I really wish we could be more than friends.
Obim, this my love is gradually turning into madness and everytime I see you, I can feel my brain stop working. Obim, just one look from your eyes pierces even the deepest part of my soul and your words are the “peace be still ” to my raging storm. Obim, this love is like a sickness, a disease, one whose cure I secretly pray should never be found. Obim, this your love is like a maximum security prison, one I don’t even want to get free from.
Obim, you remember the last time you ran to me excitedly and how you couldn’t even breathe, you said you had good news and I thought it was for us, only for you to tell me of how you have found love in the arms of another, you spoke of him with so much passion in your voice, you even had ‘the sparkle’ shooting from your eyes like the rays of the sun lighting the earth and even though I laughed and said I was happy for you, in my heart, I secretly wished that all those emotions would be for me.
Obim, you know, today I had to delete your contact from my phone along side with all the pictures we shared and no, this was not because I was developing a particular hatred for you but rather the opposite of that. Obim, my love for you is gradually turning into an obsession, I can’t sleep without hearing from you, I even laid my bed next to the memories of you, just so you become the first thing I think about everytime I wake up and the last face I see before I sleep. Obim, everytime I see your name on my phone or your picture, I swear my heart starts to drum and no matter what I do, it would not stop. Constantly playing this rhythm that even I don’t understand.
Obim, I can’t continue to fight this fight anymore, because although I’m getting to know more of you, I’m slowly losing some of me.
Obim, you know I nearly killed a man because of you. I stabbed him like a thousand times in my mind. I nursed this anger and hatred and bitterness for someone who has done me no wrong, simply because he hurt the one I love, simply because he hurt you.
I unconsciously ignited a flame of hatred for your Ex for ever beating an angel like you and our love fueled it even more but the irony of it all was that it was actually I who was being burnt alive. Obim, I swear I can’t keep doing this anymore, my heart is too shattered to love again, my knees are bruised from praying for you and my feet are tired from waiting for you for so long.
Obim, I’m scared of picking up the broken pieces of my heart, I’m scared of putting them back together again, I’m scared that you would unknowingly dash them on the floor again, just like you did the last time and the time before.
Obim, I think it’s best to move on, to leave this painting on the wall where it belongs. Obim, I think it’s better we see ourselves through your eyes, I think it’s better we be just friends.
I don’t even know why I’m writing this, maybe it’s the voice of my love begging to be heard, maybe it’s my broken and shattered heart crying for mercy or maybe it’s just the fear taunting me, knowing fully well that this letter would never be sent. Or maybe this is just the universe own way of telling us that this love would never be….
#First, it was just me and her and then love stepped in and changed everything.
#Obim, the tales of a Love that never was.
#His_Storyteller #Stay Inspired .